some day... i will..

Sunday, July 23, 2006

one week..
in an eye blink.. one week has gone
the buddhist believe that the spirit of the dead will come back on the seventh day

yesterday was the seventh day of my dad's death
my mum prepared food such as...
dim sum, cream cracker, rice, shao ya(duck), shao ruo(crispy pork) and chao siew(pork).. they are cut into to different sizes some are big and some small... like those we usually had outside..
though i dun really believe it.. but i know if he is really back he would like to have the chocolate cookies
so i put in the chocolate cookies for my dad (i prepared 2 types of cookie one was wat he requested before he left and the other was wat he had bought )
we also prepared drinks like coke,plain water and milo
a pen, a piece of paper and numbers

my mum told mi that the 40 numbers are put in line of 10(straightly in line)
all windows, fans and door were close
the wasn't much moving air

all of us were in the master bedroom
my sister, my mum and my maid
my mum shouldn't sleep at all..
both the maid and my sister were sound asleep except my mum and i
we were watching tv
usually my mum would be very tired or asleep by 23:45 but she wasn't last night
my mum knows that i was tired hence she accompany mi to sleep
my mum and i was sleeping on the master bed while my sister and my maid sleeps on the mattress

i woke up and 3 plus realizing my mum is still awake
as i was too tired i continued sleeping but i remember i did talk to my mum asking her to sleep

at 7.. my mum woke mi up
"xueling! xueling! qi lai! qi lai!" meaning wake up! wake up!
i went out to look at the food that my mum had prepared..
the scary part was...
2 pieces of shao ya and 1 piece of chao siew was on the table
it was on the plate initially!
one of the prawn dumpling(dim sum) was placed differently
it has been moved!
the milo cup have sign of it has been drank
some of the numbers in line has been moved
the pen has dropped
the chocolate cookies that he requested before he left turns soggy while the other type didn't(it was still solid)
so scary huh??!!!

BUT! i told my mum it might be the lizards, the ants etc etc..
but she said that there wasn't any ants
so i said its the lizard
but she said the 2 shao ya are too big to be moved by the lizards..
think abt quite true..
but my mum dun believe that the lizards will do such thing
she thinks that its my dad and the niu tuo ma mian
but i dun really believe in such thing
i still believe its the lizard that move the food
after all the discussions
my maid start clearing the stuff
and guess wat!!!!!
there was really a small lizard hiding under the plate
but its a baby lizard
i told my mum i was right
but she said the lizard is really too small to move the food
so i said it could be the mother lizard helped the baby lizard to pull out the shao ya and the chao siew
they end up laughing at mi
true wat!!
thats the only way to explain it( i'm a christian.. i dun believe in these(the niu tuo ma mian etc etc but i will respect it)

after my maid finish clearing my mum told mi that last night when all of us in the room at abt 23:50 plus she could smell a very strong smell of shao ya.. but i couldn't
none of us smell it except for her...
she was imagining things?? my dad was back??
i really dunno
but i couldn't explain the milo, the numbers and the cookies( there wasn't strong wind really!)
but my mum and i decided to do an experiment tonight on the cookies

thank-you people
really very thankful for all the care and concern you guys had gave
deeply appreciated
couldn't have known wat to do without you guys
there is sooo many people that i wanna thank
va,marcus,rj,mau,nel,zp,geo,misstan,ade,wk,zl,mich,syaza,runting,john,
xj,auntybeebee,churchmates,qy,eileen,weiting,colleagues,
etc etc.. sorry if i had missed out some of the ppl
you guys really give mi a lot of strength to move on
i'm better.. really very much better
i never cry for 3 days already
like wat some of them had told mi
there is no point crying
crying won't bring him back
my dad wouldn't wan to see us like this
i cried the most on the day he left and on the last day of funeral
so many things had happened

haiz.. i shall concentrate on the studies now
*sign* quiz is on next week.. i really can't catch up all the things i had missed

now i have lost all the guys in my life

end of my day (: 12:36 AM